“rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;”
- Romans 12 : 12
There are times of waiting. Times when it feels as if the thing you desire the most, is always out of grasp. Dark times, when there seems to be no hope and where it appears as if everyone else around you so easily gets what you want, while you are left wanting. Days of waiting can turn into months and even years. The worst is when our hearts start to shut down, when we can’t see beyond our pain and desperate longing and we begin to give up. We start to feel good things only happen to “other people”. We feel unworthy or as if we are being punished in some way. All of these negative feelings create a chasm between ourselves and God.
We all go through these times. I have experienced it more than once and have seen it countless times in women suffering from infertility. But right now is a time of joy and celebration. My heart is so full of love for the gift of a child that a very dear friend has been blessed with. After years and years of waiting, a baby is now coming and it will all have been worth it, I know.
If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that as challenging as the period of waiting is, as painful as longing for something that feels out of reach can be, there is always a divine plan in place, we just can’t see it. From our vantage point of lack and desperation, we can only see darkness, but when we shift into light, into surrendering and trusting in the higher and greater power of God, with whom all things are possible, we become illuminated and blessings flow to us. All things in good time.
Waiting was never meant to make you feel less of a person, or unworthy. It was never meant to test or challenge you, for in God’s eyes you are already perfect and lack nothing. Use the period of waiting, well. There is a reason even if you don’t know what it is, there are other areas of your life that need your focus and attention; there are detours you need to take in order to meet certain people, build connections and learn and grow. When the timing is right (divine timing not human timing), all will fall into place as it is meant to. That is his promise to us and that has been my personal experience.
I find it is easier to trust these days as I have been through so many experiences that have taught me, it is God’s will not ours, his timing, not ours and in God all things are possible, so put your trust there.
“I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.”
- Psalm 40:1 (NKJV)